The Power of Words

Hi everyone,

I am writing today with a heavy weight on my heart.  It seems that with texting, email, social media…that people have lost the sense of how powerful words are.  People feel free to say whatever they want without any consequences.  Many people don’t see or feel the impact of what they say, because of that harsh words are spoken easily.

I am reminded of a statement I read somewhere, “Hurt people, hurt people.”  Meaning that when we are hurt or afraid we do one of two things hide or attack.  It’s human nature…fight or flight.  Bullies learn to hurt others, because they live in an environment where they are being hurt or they are taught to hurt others.  Verbal abuse can be just as, if not more, harmful than physical abuse.  your body heals, but words get in your head and are stored there.

For me, a negative comment can stick with me longer than a positive one.  Those words feel heavier.  They take a greater toll on me.  I am so practiced at self-criticism that anything negative goes straight in to the armory.    However, I have also felt the power of a kind word or a compliment.  It can turn my entire day around.  The fulfillment I get from being kind to others fills my soul like nothing else can.

Why do I bring this up?  I had the misfortune of watching the impact of a vicious verbal attack on a number of women.  No one deserves such an attack and the scars the words leave.  One woman, who is an amazing, sassy and wonderful person has been deeply hurt by this attack.  The people involved show no remorse for their actions.  They are actually proud of what they have done.  My opinion of two of these people is permanently damaged.  The disappointment is so deep nothing can turn it around.   As for the other, the viking inside me wants to destroy him!!  I have to remember that only a person who is seriously damaged could inflict such pain without remorse.

I know there is nothing I can say or do to fix what has been done.  I will say that karma is a bitch!  I have watched her work and there is some slow painful payback in this man’s future.  I don’t need to see it.  I know that karma’s payback is always far worse than anything I could come up with on my own.

As powerful as words are silence is even more powerful.

Peace out!

Brenda the Brave

I Want to, But…

Hello All,

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how I have been feeling STUCK.  I am a B personality with A tendencies.  I can’t stand to be bored in my job or in life in general.  That is why I have so many hobbies and creative things I do.  I rotate them so I don’t get bored.

I work with some great people and that is the biggest part of what makes a happy work environment.   I usually get bored with a position within a year of starting it.  My current position has kept me VERY busy and challenged for 6 years.  That is a record for me, but I am facing some realities at this point.  Due to the size and leadership structure, there is no place for me to advance, or transfer to in this company.  I am very good at what I do, but in many ways it doesn’t satisfy me.  I have always known this, but it pays the bills.

Should the choice be employed or happy?  No!!  If you aren’t happy doing what your are doing then figure out what would make you happy.   Yes, there are many people, including myself, who have financial restrictions of varying types.  When you choose to  make the leap and you really are willing to put in the work then you can make anything happen.  I have heard this from many people, “Success looks a lot like work.”  This is so true!

I am not saying quit your job, then figure it out.  This is where you do the preparations while you are working until it’s time to take the leap.

NOONE has the perfect life!  There is always a price that has to be paid at some point.   When I say nothing is free, I mean NOTHING!  You have to give something up to have something else.  YOU get to choose!  There is always a price, trade off and you decide if it is worth the price.

I spent many years trying to figure out what I thought would make me happy.  I know today what that is…wait for it.   Back to my conversation, my friend agreed that she was feeling the same way, but it’s too late to make a change in career now.   There was a time I would have agreed with her.   Today…not so much.

I know what I want to do!  My life up has been preparing me for this line of work since I was born.  For me the experiences I have had are the price I had to pay to be able to do my dream job.  Perspective is everything!

My passion is helping others through the transitions we have to make in life.  Finding that place where your soul and the world meet. In this place you know it will all work out the way it should.  I enjoy a hybrid of Eastern and Western medicine.  I lean East though.

I have been hesitant to put my idea or plan in writing on my blog, but seriously if someone wants to do this in their area then DO IT!  It is a fabulous plan, but a TON of work, training, and finding capital, doing a business plan and getting all the RIGHT people together.

All this to say, I am older than my boss and for me it’s not too late! For me…the time is EXACTLY RIGHT!


My next blog entry will be all able my vision…

The Shift – Being an Ombudsman


I admit it…I have been, sort of, off the grid for a few months.  Philanthropy is a passion of mine and I found a niche that has changed my life.  I have been getting certified to be an Ombudsman for Long-Term Care in Tarrant County.

Federal law requires that each state have an ombudsman program to advocate for the residents of long-term care facilities.  These include licensed nursing homes, rehabilitation centers and assisted living communities.  This program is designed to ensure that the residents rights are honored and they are treated with dignity and respect.

I had this image of what nursing homes were and what it would be like to serve the residents.  Anyone who has someone they love living in a nursing home due to some medical condition knows that this is something people in general don’t consider until they have no other option.

These communities have people of all ages.  An accident can happen to anyone at anytime.  Lives are changed in a second.  When it does happen it is very difficult to manage your feelings, that of the injured and the family, and sort through everything that is suddenly now on your plate.  Insurance, finances,  doctors, time….the list goes on and on.  As the resident or patient, you can feel like you have lost all control and all your rights as a person.  Overwhelmed is the only word I can come up with when I imagine how it would feel to be in their shoes.

During the process of training, and shadowing my supervising ombudsman there has been a shift in my mindset…my soul.  I have to stay objective, which is very hard since I am a nurturing person.  I have come to understand the importance of objectivity, while caring for each of these people.  It is a fine line I must walk, but it is so worth it.

When I am there and talking to these people, helping them or just chatting, they know that their lives matter.  Someone is watching and they are important.

All the day-to-day BS that was irritating me even a couple of weeks ago, now doesn’t phase me.  In the scheme of things it really is unimportant.  I was not excepting this kind of shift to happen.  There is a calmness that has taken over that allows me the objectivity to not only help others, but help myself.

It is a divine gift I have been given.