Because I Matter!

 

Too young to understand,

with feelings too strong to command

Fear so strong you try to hide,

but you can’t get away from what’s inside.

Watching My family

never feeling

Always pretending

always shielding.

No one can be trusted

not even family.

How do I survive this?

I’m so lonely.

Older now and angry as hell.

I’m told to hide it so no one can tell.

So a smile it is, for all to see

No one knows this isn’t me.

Faking my life is so natural now.

To be myself I don’t even know how.

I open my mouth to share my hurt.

Two parents are told, but no one has heard.

Nothing is done.

Nothing is said.

He’s family you know,

just go to bed.

Trying to heal the years of pain

I forgive, I change,

but what have I gained?

Knowledge, understanding

perspective is here.

None of that has repaired this deep felt fear.

So hard to trust and open up.

To open my heart, I WILL NOT.

God tells me it is time to heal.

I know that it is, but I am afraid to feel.

A big heavy door locked up so tight.

No one in, no one out

Especially at night.

This walk is one I must take.

So much anger.  So much hate.

Admitting that is only a step.

It’s time to start until I have wept.

To forgive for pain I have caused myself,

Unintentional at times, but others I dealt.

All those feelings locked up inside.

So powerful and healing,

God’s wish I must abide.

It is time to heal this

trust that was shattered

& this heart that was broken

BECAUSE  I MATTER!!

 

What do you think? Inspire me!!