My journal ideas come from my team of women, who are helping me find balance and peace within myself and with the areas in life with which I struggle. I struggle with many things, like everyone does to a small degree. There are two things that have both threatened my life, alcohol and disordered eating. These two things teamed up for many years, and during my short period of living in New Orleans, they nearly killed me. At the time I did not know this, but looking back I can see more clearly my path.
I have been sober since 7/18/2010, one year after losing my mother. I believe that once she passed and got to see my life, she spiritually kicked my butt all the way into a 12 Step Program. The miracle of it all is, back then I assumed that when things got tough I would always default to alcohol, or have the desire to, but today the thought does not even cross my mind during the hard times. I am so grateful for this gift.
Today I also realize that what I always viewed as a weight problem, is actually an eating disorder, which has morphed and grown in strength over time. Once again, right at a key turning point I was able to see not only that I had a problem, but what I needed to do to address it. I had to step out of my life for a month to really look at and get a good start on addressing the variety of behaviors i act on.
Today I know that not only do I need to focus on intuitive eating and life balance, I HAVE to and WANT to root through the root cause, which is childhood trauma, of why I do what I do. When people say your secrets will kill you…IT IS TRUE!!! All of these secrets almost killed me many times.
It takes a village to raise this inner child and I am armed with so many friends and resources.
I AM A SURVIVOR!!!
I WILL WALK OUT OF THIS DARKNESS INTO THE LIGHT OF LOVE, WHICH STARTS INSIDE OF ME!!
1. Nightly journaling of what I did right in every area of my life that day and what I would do differently for any mistakes. I will only post one here.
2. During my meals, I have to write about the meal like I am writing for a newspaper article. Describe the entire experience so that I am engaging all my senses in the process and I am emotionally connecting to the meal.
Who wants to join me and share one of your journal entries on these ideas?