Hello my friends,
As my readers know I have been doing some personal growth and self reflection over the past years. After my recent retreat the self reflection has picked up the pace. Change is uncomfortable for everyone. The person changing is uncomfortable and the people in his or her lives get uncomfortable.
I have come to this place many times and the same thing comes out of it. When I meet someone and I have an immediate negative reaction, I need to stop and really look at what it is that is bothering me, then I have to look in the mirror and see that part in me. 100% of the time when there is something I don’t like about someone or I have a negative reaction to someone, it is something I see in me that I don’t like. It’s that damn mirror.
I am far from perfect in my actions to become a better person and happier with my life. I try to be positive, but it ebbs and flows. Recently, I was in a hormone induced ebb. I was very moody and negative. When I am this way I have found that I need to look at what is causing it.
I ask myself questions like:
Am I sleeping well?
Am I spending too much time with negative people?
Is it hormonal?
Am I depressed?
Am I anxious?
Have I been eating right?
Am I exercising?
Sometimes it’s a combination of these, but what ever it is I have to figure out how to defuse it. Exercise, eating right and getting a good nights sleep all can bring my mood up. Sometimes I am just being judgmental and I need to look at changing something about me. Sometimes it’s a friendship that is no longer working for me. Those usually fall away naturally, but sometimes it doesn’t and a decision needs to be made. Sometimes a discussion needs to be had in order to set boundaries. Whatever it is, it is an action that has to come from me.
Honestly, IT SUCKS!! When I come to this place I go to my big book and start working the steps on what is bothering me. I am so grateful today that I have a new person in my life to work with because I need to get out of my head space for a while and just enjoy the now. I have so much to be grateful for, and such a wonderful life. It is too short to spend it in a dark place, well dimly lit place.
It’s time for action and more change!
Thank you to all my new retreat ladies who support me through the bumps as they come up.
Brenda the Brave